10 Valuable Lessons I Have Learned From My 5 Year Relationship

I never had a good example of a healthy relationship.

My relationship “toolbox” was not only empty — it had some rust and dents to it. Over the years, I have added a few wrenches and screwdrivers here and there by reading books, going to counseling, and enduring one or two broken hearts.

Even when I was absolutely clueless as to what constituted a healthy relationship, I was certain that I never wanted to settle for anything less than love and mutual respect. Not even for a split second have I stepped foot into today’s casual hook-up culture nor have I ever entered into a relationship that I did not truly value and envision going places. I was not always right about the men I have dated — as a matter of fact, I was wrong every single time until 2013 — the year I met Dan Kim.

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Food for Thought

An Honest Letter to My 16-year-old Self

Dear 16-year-old me,

Oh, Jamakea. I wish I could reach back in time, grab you firmly by the shoulders, and let you know that everything is going to be okay.

You have been feeling abandoned this last year. Grandma fled to Mexico without a trace or any type of warning. Dad entered a serious relationship for the first time in 15 years — nevermind that his new girlfriend is only 10 years older than you. Times are changing and your relationships, the very anchors that give you stability, are not what they used to be. Especially the one that you have with yourself.

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